I know I told yall my next post would be about hair products, but a more important subject has come up that I NEED to vent about before I start talking about my hair. Be prepared for some skilled venting.
So the other day I was talking to this guy about prom last year, specifically when a friend and I were dancing. Trust me when I say that my friend and I can't dance, but apparently when people saw us they wanted to go to the club with us and stuff HAHAHA. We still laugh about that to this day. We're pretty much superstars.
Anyways, this guy was commenting on how he had "never seen me like that before" and that is was "a whole different side of me". The whole time I'm thinking, dude it's not like we were grinding on everyone and popping it everywhere. We weren't being slutty. When I said this, he said "No, it wasn't slutty, it was sexy."
Me...sexy? Did this kid take drugs before class?
At first I was a little flattered because sexy is something I'm most definitely not, and never been called. I'm kind of the opposite actually. But right when I started to feel a little good about myself he added, "Maybe if you were sexier all the time, you would have a boyfriend."
Ouch, right to the shred of confidence that I was hanging onto. Let me just say that the past couple of months having been hitting my confidence pretty hard, and comments like these do not help. It seems like I've been getting a lot of them lately. That's another post though.
Anyways, I was REALLY insulted. So I have to act like a slut to get a boyfriend? I have to be something that I'm not to get a boyfriend? This assumption is freaking RIDICULOUS. Honestly, that was the douch-iest statement I've heard this year and it PISSED ME OFF.
This brings me to standards. Honestly, I'm not trying to sound cocky, but if I wanted a boyfriend I could probably get one. The thing is, that would be settling, which I promised myself I would never do again. It's a bad road to go down. And that's the thing, I DON'T WANT ONE, or at least not just ANYONE. Our society views being single as two things:
1) A chance to have no strings attached, do what you want, mess around with anyone with no committment, etc.
Or 2) The person just can't get themselves a boyfriend or girlfriend.
Both views are completely ridiculous. While they do apply to some people, why does being single have to only include doing things with no committment or not being able to get anyone? WHY SOCIETY, WHY. Isn't is possible for someone to want to be single at the moment?
Anyways, my final point is if you're patient enough to wait for a suitable person and you are in time with God's will, it will pay off in the end. It will have SO many more benefits that carelessly dating right now. I felt really insecure at first, wondering if I'm pretty enough, smart enough, or "Sexy" enough. I would think, "Maybe that's why no one is interested in me". I wondered what I was doing wrong. I'm not going to lie, it bothered me SO much for a little bit, but I finally realized that I have my standards raised high for a reason. I don't want to date just anyone. That leads to heartbreak and messes. I am patiently waiting for what God has in store. I have become more at peace with that as time goes on.
Being in God's Will will have so many more blessings than following our own path and having to be corrected. I just have to remind my self that while I see just a step, God sees the whole staircase.
(Don't judge my last cheesy quote, I came up with it myself).
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